Big chickenhawk energy.

Right-wingers become warlike when rich white guys buy companies and fire people.

Chris Maley
4 min readNov 2, 2022
Libs of TikTok thread showing big chickenhawk energy.

Chickenhawk’ (chicken hawk or chicken-hawk) is a political term used in the United States to describe a person who is a war hawk yet actively avoids or avoided military service when of age. In political usage, chickenhawk is a compound of chicken (meaning ‘coward’) and hawk from war hawk (meaning ‘someone who advocates war’).Wikipedia

A few years back, a dick named John Malone acquired a controlling interest in the parent company of cable channel CNN.

Immediately, smirky simps who are not motivated enough to join the military let loose with battle cries and war whoops.

Correctly, the fanboys surmised that Malone would order his sycophants to fire every employee who didn’t believe Donald Trump is a smart businessman.

In the time since, announcements about ousted journalists and producers trigger the wartasticness in people who think Donald Trump is a smart businessman.

Earlier this year another Right-wing dick, this one named Elon Musk, announced that he was going to buy Twitter. Instantly, his fanboys developed the drooly-mouth from fantasizing about the jobs he was going to destroy. Because Twitter is a social media entity, fanboys crowed about him deleting libs’ accounts on the site as well.

When these types get stirred up, one can visualize them seeing all of it as an actual act of civil war. They seem to be living vicariously through the rich fellas, twisting that wealth into weapons of war and touting it as if it were their own money.

Yeah, it’s cringe.

Last week, Elon did buy Twitter. And…wait for it…he started firing people right away. Just like the happenings at CNN, this news brought out battle-bragging.

Chief Twit even displayed a picture of a joke-firing on his personal Twitter page, just for the lulz. Chickenhawks dug his GI jokery. They got warrior-blood in them, too. This fact is why they get their armbands in a twist over EVERY news story about women in the military.

“thOSe LaDIez bETTr DO pUSh-UPs LIkE a MaN?!?!”

Their dead relatives served in one of the armed forces and this fact gives them the right to judge, by gum. And this right is under attack from the libs.

Some nazi-minded bullshitter mutated this paranoia into one of the 2022 GOP messaging planks. Fellas don’t need the motivation; they got the warrior-blood in ’em. Unlike those brown-skinned people who actually do serve in the military.

Speaking of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, a new Right-wing talking point/scare tactic has to do with dwindling recruitment numbers across all branches. Their kvetching proves how thoroughly the chickenhawk-mojo has been baked into USA culture.

Right-wingers freak out about the lack of enlistees. At the same time, they do not feel compelled to personally serve or push their own youngsters to sign on the dotted line. They’re all about shaming the poors instead.

Biiiigggggggg chickenhawk energy right there.

Why enlist when you can just start your own gun-love page and ask for money? Kyle Rittenhouse is going to get lots of contributions. Don’t need a crystal ball with this one.

Eisenhower’s speech about the Military-Industrial Complex — it was like Ike was trying to tell us something.

MIC-supporting young men avoided the Vietnam Draft, then tried to start a Reichstag Fire in their later years.

But, this Reichstag Fire ended up more like the Fyre Festival.

So, now those men and their cohorts are just going to fire everybody in an act of performative theater.

Then again, we are the country that elected the “You’re fired!” guy to the highest office in the land. You know…the self-described alpha male who skipped Vietnam due to bonespurs.

Read Part II on my website. Earlier posts:
John Wayne: hi from Earth.
The era of anti-Semitic tightwaddery.
Hitlerian hilarity: the years 2016 to 2020.
When terms don’t mean what they seem to mean.
Bury Rush Limbaugh in Arlington National Cemetery. Own the libs.
Understand the “America” in “Make America Great Again.” Watch the movie Porky’s.
Open letter to a selfie of my drunk-ass self, taken on August 11th, 2001.

I also write fiction. I have two dark comedies available, Fearkiller (Volume 1) and Notes from Trillionaire Island: Fearkiller (Volume 2), as well as Revolutionizer Alpha, the first book in a sci-fi series. I also wrote a story about God. It was weird, but then I decided to make the story and its sequel free. And all of the sudden, it didn’t seem as weird. Writing about God is much less weird when you write about God without charging money for it.



Chris Maley

I pay bills writing Websites, articles, ads, etc. Author of the Fearkiller dark comedy series. Check out my new book, Revolutionizer Alpha.