Re-bury Rush Limbaugh in Arlington National Cemetery, full military honors. Own the libs.
A draft-dodging, science-denying, woman-hating, supremacy-promoting bastion of conservatism died this past week.
Re-posting. First posted 2.22.21 on my website. (I figured there’s still enough of his bloated, stupid corpse left. This idea could work, so I thought I would cross-post.)
Last year, I wrote a post about Rush Hudson Limbaugh, III.
In this roundabout way, I needed to thank him for my dark comedy, Fearkiller (Volume 1). Rush, being his usual sad self, made me think about my book and what I wanted to say about subjects like white privilege, oligarchy, the Great Recession, and income inequality.
Weird, huh? A blowhard who hates thinking people made me think.
I don’t get it, either.
Wouldn’t it just git the libs and git them good if we threw Rush a super-duper-ultra-mega-military funeral at Arlington National Cemetery, complete with guns and uniforms and explosions and flags and shit? Here you go…we clad Don Jr., Eric, and Jared in Four-Star General outfits. Rudy Giuliani could fart out the National Anthem during the burial ceremony. Dress up Tucker Carlson like Hitler. Teach Ivanka and some hot babes to fly airplanes, have them do the flyover instead of the Blue Angels.
Dang. That would so own the libs.
WAIT — we can’t have females fly those airplanes and do combat-stuff. Scratch the flyover. Just have the females at the burial plot, dressed in black and crying excessive tears while profusely thanking Rush for his service.
We get Michael Bay to film it all. Make sure the ladies wear flattering funeral dresses.
When I think about Rush’s legacy, I think of the empathy-free, existentially-threatened chickenhawk-type of fella who secretly knows that rich white men hate him, but will never, ever say so. I think of white people who live in shame and keep themselves going by finding ways to shame others. Or the folks whose favorite hobby is hearing other people’s unfortunate circumstances and racking their brains in two trying to figure out to “blame” those people for their own hardships, like it’s a game. Rush taught white people that being cruel is a game.
Rush did not inspire greatness. He did not push humanity forward. His followers hold the country back — just because they’re too stupid to do anything else. Rush taught them to wallow in their own resentment and feel inferior to the wealthy. History will not be kind to him or his fans.
I like what the writer and comedian Mike Drucker had to say about Rush’s passing: Whenever you criticize a person who just died, you always get the response, “How would you feel if someone was happy you died?” Which, I dunno. I’d be dead. But also, if thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people are happy I died, it possibly means I did fucked up shit.
Also posted at my website. More thoughts of mine:
• A gigantic thank you, from me to Rush Limbaugh.
• If America is going Porky’s, Melania makes an ideal First Lady.
• America: militant, not military.
• Alan Berg: hi from Earth. 2.
• Harpo Marx: hi from Earth.
• Understand the “America” in “Make America Great Again.” Watch the movie Porky’s.
• Chevychasing it.
• MAGA folks don’t really like cops. But they loooooooove the idea of cops.
Besides blog posts about the fact that socialism-for-the-rich is not capitalism, I also write fiction.