How to make Black Friday less evil.

So, you’re a corporate retail chain and you have decided to open your doors on Black Friday.

12:01 a.m., November 28th, employees will be readying the aisles and front-facing the merchandise.

Goooooooooooo capitalism.

Before going further, I think you are Godawful for doing this. I also have been alive long enough to understand that the men who make these decisions don’t care about what people like me think.

But my point that you are Godawful is stated.

Moving on.

I can’t stop you bottom-line-driven men from operating on Black Friday, but I can help you.

If your PR is a concern, it is possible for you to stay open on Black Friday and appear to suck less.

My professional background is in marketing. One of my jobs over the years has been to help clients turn around consumers’ negative perceptions.

As a professional in this type of situation, my job would be to find the opportunity buried beneath the crisis.

After strategic brainstorming and looking at Black Friday, here’s my spin.

You can make your money AND create positive feelings about your corporation.

We can turn the Black Friday negative into a positive. Better: this can set a tradition for years to come and your corporation will never lose out on this chance to generate revenue ever again.

So, here is the How To Make Money On Black Friday And Suck Less plan. To convey its seriousness, I will use charts.

Chart 1 is how the stereotypical Black Friday plan for most retailers is laid out.

As you can see, the employees of each store do the heavy-lifting working on Black Friday. Which can lead to negative repercussions. But there is a way around this.

We can make money while coming across as somewhat human.

Skeptical? I understand. But check out my proposal.

CEOs, brush up on your cash-register commands.

Bean counters, your comfortable shoes better be comfortable enough to stand in for long periods of time.

Supply-chain gurus, merchandising pros, corporate buyers: don’t enjoy too much red wine and turkey on Thursday. You’ve got a big day of work ahead.

This, retailers of America, is the Chris Maley plan for how to operate on Black Friday and reduce negative consumer feelings at the same time.

You want to make money. The world doesn’t want to hate you.

My plan accomplishes both — and think: this will give the corporate managers a chance to refamiliarize themselves with the day-to-day store environment.

Who knows? These executives might, in the middle of that crazed Black Friday, receive an inspiration that helps solve an issue. Approach Black Friday from a different angle. It’s not working-all-day-the-day-after-Thanksgiving. Think of it as a once-a-year, all-day off-site-but-on-site management retreat.

Executives: use Black Friday to get back to your professional roots.

And you will be making the investors money at the same time.

Those practices you wrote months ago, back at Corporate: working Black Friday is your chance to see how those have been implemented.

Imagine: what if the media got a picture of the Vice Chairman unplugging the third stall toilet in Store #13321?

Him, plunger in hand.

Show the world that your company is run by people who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty.

We get some video of the Chief Revenue Officer helping a nice old lady stuff too much merchandise into the back of her little car.

The Board of Directors hurriedly restocking shelves in their attempt to keep up with the consumer demand they created — or they are busily loading a truck to make a last-minute delivery to a store across town that experienced a run on a certain item.

Think: all the big doo-dee-doo’s of the company, scrambling and running around on Black Friday.

Leading by example.

Now, marketing guy here needs you to remember that pictures and video of these moments, making their ways across the Internet afterward, will do wonders for your company image.

People seeing the key decision-makers actually servicing their customers.

This is what your company needs.

Here we go: we shoot some video, interviewing the spouses and family members of the executives. They’ll talk about how proud they are of their bread-winner, because this retail executive walks the walk and talks the talk.

Yes, Corporate America, Black Friday can work.

My plan, one more time. .

You make your money.

Consumers get their deals.

Your employees get to relax.

Everybody wins.

Chris Maley is the author of and . For the record: he loves turkey legs and garlic mashed potatoes.

I pay bills writing Websites, articles, ads, etc. Author of the Fearkiller dark comedy series. Check out my new book, Revolutionizer Alpha.