These are dark and douchey times.

Chris Maley
3 min readApr 20, 2022
I heard the nickname Phony Stark recently and I wish nothing but greatness for the person who came up with it.

“If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”
— President Lyndon Baines Johnson

Attention, world: my country is turning into a …what Don-Don once said.

Somewhere in the USA, some racist chickenhawk wearing an FAFO t-shirt is still crying crocodile tears over Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars. Weeks later, bro is still whining because Rock hasn’t threatened to file a frivolous lawsuit.

Frivolous lawsuits are the “weapons” (quotes intentional) of the metrosexual ammosexuals…or is it the ammosexual metrosexuals?

All of those people look alike to me.

Will Smith was one of the really, really threatening ones. Besides bringing talent and good looks, he also had a reputation as a nice guy.

Do I agree with what he did? No. Do I think he’s being targeted because he scares many people who share my skin color? Yes.

The second that those aspirational types of Black guys step out of bounds, it’s time for those who hate cancel culture to start cancelling.

And then you have Tucker Carlson worrying about the levels of racism…I mean…levels of testosterone in white males.

Think: not too many months ago, he hosted Kyle Rittenhouse on his show. The two fellas giggled and snickered while discussing how many frivolous lawsuits Rittenhouse was going to file against people who hurt his fee-fees.

Twenty-seven years ago yesterday, Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

These two white men traveled to a white supremacist haven in rural Idaho and spoke freely with anti-Semites who played a part in the murder of radio shock-jock Alan Berg.

Those men walked free. Yes, some of the killers got caught. But the ugliness that drove the execution only mutated in the years before McVeigh and Nichols showed up. Years after Berg got gunned down, the plotters helped McVeigh and Nichols devise a plan to kill hundreds of innocent people.

A daycare center was in the Murrah Building.

We white dudes can get away with anything.

And we white dudes know it.

The billionaire-worshipping trolls who seem so committed to irritating you, they know what they are doing.

John Lennon explained their strategy — and devised an action plan for countering it — years ago:

“When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you — pull your beard, flick your face — to make you fight. Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.”

Non-violence and humor.

Attention funny-ass motherfuckers and motherfuckerettes: your country needs you.

Also posted on my site. Some earlier posts:
The four horseshits of the apocalypse.
Bros: America’s new Jews, part V.
Jonas Salk: what a pussy.
When terms don’t mean what they seem to mean.
Bury Rush Limbaugh in Arlington National Cemetery. Own the libs.
Understand the “America” in “Make America Great Again.” Watch the movie Porky’s.

I also write fiction. I have two dark comedies available, Fearkiller (Volume 1) and Notes from Trillionaire Island: Fearkiller (Volume 2), as well as Revolutionizer Alpha, the first book in a sci-fi series. I also wrote a story about God. It was weird, but then I decided to make the story and its sequel free. And all of the sudden, it didn’t seem as weird. Writing about God is much less weird when you write about God without charging money for it.
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Chris Maley

I pay bills writing Websites, articles, ads, etc. Author of the Fearkiller dark comedy series. Check out my new book, Revolutionizer Alpha.